Gored of the Rings by Elise Sax

Author:Elise Sax [Sax, Elise]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9798685628718
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

Starfest continued without apple pies or an alligator. Spencer seemed unharmed, but the paramedics checked him out, anyway. While they were doing that, I looked around for Brian, but by that time, the lights were out, and it was hard to make out anybody in the group of stargazers.

That’s how come I didn’t see the skateboarders until I ran into them.

“Hey, it’s the babe,” the leader said.

“Yeah, the babe.”

“The babe. Yeah.”

“Bitchin’. The babe.”

They had their delivery bags with them, and they were eating out of them. I asked if they had seen Brian, but they didn’t know him, and when I explained that he had been at the wedding and I wanted to talk to him about Pablo’s death, the lead skateboarder dropped his handful of ill-gotten fries and perked up.

“Dude, I saw that guy,” he said.

“That’s right. Like, we did,” another of them said.

“You saw Brian?” I asked. “Where?”

“No, not your dude. The other dude. The one with the axe in his head.”

They proceeded to alternately mime getting axed and axing someone.

“Where?” I asked, interrupting their show. “At the wedding? Did you see him die?” It was too much to ask for, but stranger things were known to happen.

“No, dude. Like, before.”

“The day before.”

“Yeah, dudette. We saw him the day before.”

“Where?” I asked. “What was he doing?”

The head skateboarder stepped closer to me and lowered his voice. “That’s the thing. He was acting real shady. Skulking around. You know?”

“He was skulking?”

“Yeah. Skulking.”

“Where?” I asked, again.

And that’s when their drug-addled brain cells stopped working. Like a case of communal amnesia, they couldn’t remember where they had seen Pablo “skulk.”

That word made me very suspicious. Pablo hadn’t been a skulker. He had always wanted to be the center of attention. So, why was he skulking the day before he was murdered?

The next morning, Spencer and I slept in. Spencer was sore from wrestling an alligator, and my eyes were no longer painful, but they were still red and swollen.

At eight o’clock, we were still spooning in bed, and Spencer’s lips were against the crook of my shoulders, kissing me lightly.

“We should go downstairs and toast a bagel for Zelda,” he said like a good grandson-in-law. But I noticed he didn’t move a muscle.

“She wasn’t in the mood for bagels, so she ate leftover fried chicken an hour ago and washed it down with a cup of coffee and a Bloody Mary chaser.”

“How do you know that? Never mind. I don’t know why I still ask you.”

Spencer’s phone rang, and he stretched his arm backward to retrieve it off his nightstand.

“Bolton,” he answered. “Are you kidding me? Can’t you handle that on your own? What? Are you kidding me?”

Spencer hung up and rolled out of bed.

“What’s happening?” I asked.

He slipped on a pair of pants. “I have to go into work right now.”

“Alligator?”

“No.”

“Aggressive lactation experts?”

“No.”

“More sex dolls?”

“No.”

I tapped my chin with a finger. “I think that’s the whole list of weird going on. Oh, wait a minute. Could it be avocados?”

Spencer was halfway dressed and stopped what he was doing to look at me.

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